Let’s face it, there’s nothing you can do about your heroin addiction. You can, however, limit the risk of death when you accidentally (and inevitably) overdose. One way to do that is to shoot up in safe, public places that are close to medical intervention but off law enforcement’s radar.
This list, compiled by Delaware Ohio News in collaboration with local junkies, provides the 6 safest places to overdose in Delaware based on two safety factors: The likelihood of being saved and the likelihood of being arrested. Spots with low risk of arrest and high likelihood of medical intervention are the ones that topped our list.
So, without further ado, let’s review the top 6 places to get smacked and narrowly avoid your untimely demise.
6. The Blue Tube Slide at Mingo Park
The blue tube slide at Mingo Park is great because it provides a unique and even tranquil setting for mainlining your way into the dark abyss. It’s safe because there will eventually be children trying to use the slide, meaning you’ll be found sooner than later. The risk of arrest is lower here given law enforcement’s desire to avoid traumatizing kids and families more than they have to. Watching you foam at the mouth and come back to life among a swarm of first responders is enough for one day.
5. Zion United Church of Christ
This place of worship provides excellent cover for heroin addicts thanks to their community shelter. Church officials have said they expect heroin addicts to use the facility and staff the location with off duty police and paramedics. What better place to have your soul temporarily leave your body? You can briefly find God and then fall back to reality in the arms of His righteous servants before getting dope sick and chasing the dragon all over again.
4. Anywhere in the Northwest Neighborhood
Considered the heart of soul of Delaware, Ohio, the Northwest Neighborhood is a historic district that was home to city founders and entrepreneurs in the 1800s. Today, it’s a liberal and intellectual stronghold with a strong sense of community and a dense population of sympathetic families. Fiends can stumble their way through these tree lined streets and never be more than a few feet away from a warm, welcoming family just waiting to nurse them back to health and call 911. If cops associate you with the respectable neighborhood, they’re more likely to let you off with a warning.
3. Carlisle Elementary School
One could argue that any of Delaware’s five elementary schools would make good spots for drug overdoses, but none is safer than Carlisle. The school is close to Grady Memorial Hospital (#2 on our list) and has a comfortable recycling dumpster to rest against while you pump your veins full of skag from a dirty needle and doze off into oblivion. Dispose of your kit in the recycling bin prior to nodding off and you’ll be safe from arrest.
2. The Bus Stop at Grady Memorial Hospital
The bus stop at Grady Memorial Hospital is safe AND convenient. The local transit authority stop provides reliable transportation and the close proximity to the hospital ensures you’re only a few feet away from help when you overdose and begin seizing for your life.
1. The Gazebo at Bicentennial Park (Behind the Fire Station)
Topping our list is the shaded Gazebo at Bicentennial Park, conveniently located directly behind the main fire station in the City of Delaware. This spot is perfect for obvious reasons. It’s discreet enough to remain hidden from plain view of the surrounding roadways and Wesleyan campus; it provides a peaceful seating area with cover from the elements; and it’s right next to the people who will save your life when you take it too far and almost kill yourself.
It’s so close, in fact, that it’s rumored a paramedic once used a blowgun to shoot a Narcan dart over 100 yards, striking and reviving an overdose victim without even leaving the station.
So there you have it: The safest places to overdose in Delaware, Ohio. Share with the addict in your life and do your part to help prolong their death.
If this is some sort of joke its really not
Fkn funny people are dying people
Are losing their children.
People are culling themselves from the genepool, as well as removing their burden from society.
I think this was done with an undertone of sarcasm, but it is odd. I wouldn’t want my kid stumbling on an OD’d junkie on a slide at the local park, as sad and scary as the Heroin epidemic we will need more than articles like this to stop it.
This whole site is SATIRE !
I interpret that this man has lost a great deal to this drug. A multitude of us, who have never done it have lost a great deal. It is a disheartening process… To watch someone you love destroyed.
Why would you advertise this shit saying “6 safe places to overdose in Delaware” ? You are a disgrace. Just fyi addicts are people not junkies fighting an addiction/disease. Argue if you want, but I know first hand asshole. I have over 3 years clean from heroin and it’s is still a struggle each and every day. Part of the reason people relapse is because of idiots like you Just cutting us off judging us by our past pushing us away. Why don’t you focus on safe spots to get help? Have you ever thought that one of your friends or family memers could go to those so called “safe spots” and overdose? Maybe your dad, mom, daughter, son, wife, husband or best friend? Just because their in those areas an overdose doesn’t mean their going to survive. O wait you would probably be happy because we are animals and not members of society any longer right? Think about and watch what you say because the stupid article you wrote affends many of us in different ways.
I would say bye Felicia
3 years clean? You could have been your whole life clean if you hadn’t started that shit. Did you just look at some strung out junkie and think “Man, I’d love to try that”?
yo do you think you could write my 6 page english essay for me?
What a poor tasteless attempt at humor. Hopefully someone loses their writing job over this sick and twisted piece of garbage.
You guys, read the description of this “news” site. It’s all made up, like the onion.
Absolutely awful. I love this community but this is a disgrace. What are others going to think? Are our children safe? This was extremely tasteless and this man should be fired for putting such negative publicity out there and thinking it is funny. Heroin addiction is not funny. It’s real and it’s deadly. Nothing about that is funny. And to bring in our elementary schools? This article is wrong and in terrible taste. It needs to be taken down.
Loved it!
Calm down people.. it’s not a real news site????
To all of the people who are upset: Don’t you realize that this article is doing exactly what it was meant to do? It’s making A LOT of people VERY uncomfortable about a situation they should be uncomfortable about. I am willing to wager that this article has gotten more attention than any other heroin awareness event or news report in Delaware County.
If the reality of having drug addicts overdosing in public places is scary, let’s band together and make sure that doesn’t happen. We can put more resources into treatment programs, lobby our public officials, be open and honest with our children, and love each other better to help fight back against this epidemic.
To This Article is Working
Before you go spouting off Don’t you realize that this article is doing exactly hat it was meant to do? Let me explain to you why it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am a mother that lost her son Nov 28th 2016 due to this evil drug. He did not overdose but chose to shoot himself because of it. This article is in very very poor taste. It’s saying, if you are and want to do heroin then do it in these places. You might get lucky and not get arrested or die. So DO NOT act or think you are some smart person because you thought of something nobody else has thought of. This article should have never been posted and should be removed. You go ahead and give the resources of treatment programs. Good luck with that. Lobby the public official, you might get somewhere there. I am a parent that was opened and honest with my son and I loved him to the moon and back. That does not always stop them from doing the drug. So yeah, the article pissed me off but you may take and keep your opinion to yourself or better yet spend your time on posting sympathy to the people who’ve lost loved ones over this evil evil drug, instead of trying to point out kudo’s for the article.
It is a real problem for society and most of all the addict. My son is a recovering addict. When I discovered what he was doing I was pissed. I couldn’t believe or understand that he just couldn’t quit. “Come on you don’t have to do that SHIT!!” “You could quit if you wanted too!!” Yes I said it all, and I felt all of the disgust and anger a father can. Then during one of our many heated discussions he said “do you think that I just woke up one day and said, You know I think I will become a Heroine addict today”. A light went off in my head. This was still my son and even though when under the power of this drug they can be manipulative liars. They can also be brutally honest, open and show you a side to them that you never knew.
I think that as a community, as a nation we all need to be a part of the solution. No matter if you are not directly affected or associated with an addict it is the right thing to do. We need to decriminalize addiction and give these people a safe place with a dignified plan to break the bonds of opiates.
Heroine was introduced thru the Sears and Roebuck catalog by the German aspirin company BAYER. It was Heroine, a real hero to the rescue for your back pain and migraine headaches. Heroine has no economic or social boundary. Heroine addicts come from all walks of life. They are school teachers, lawyers, doctors, news casters and your neighbors. Most of all they are our children, our brothers and sisters and our mothers and fathers. We need to help them take back their lives. NOBODY wants to live the life of an addict. Society has deemed them the lowest of life form. We need to stop judging and start encouraging recovery. It takes a lot of support and more patience. There will be relapses. It is the biggest fight of an addict and their families lives. Haven’t we lost enough of our loved ones to this evil drug that has enslaved a generation of our youth. Get on your knees and stat praying for Gods help or get up off of of your ass and demand that the government on all levels treat addicts like patients and not criminals. BTW Heroine dealers, importers and opportunistic doctors should be burned at the stake.
Well said
I’m really amazed at the responses on here, this isn’t tasteless humour, it isn’t “news” (please stop doing that btw, just because you don’t like something that was said). A lot of American people need to learn the difference between news, satire and opinion pieces; this is a mixture between a satirical piece and an opinion piece. It’s in the format of something light hearted because it’s highlighting a painful reality. It seems to me what he’s getting at is that such occurrences have become commonplace and the problem is largely ignored by authorities, leaving medical professionals to pick up the pieces. This kind of article actually might do more good than the simple reporting of incidents, which most of us brush over when we’re catching up on the news. It’s good that this incites rage though, apathy should have that effect. I think this is a great approach to what I imagine to be a long standing issue.
Yeah, that was my take too. This was an interesting and entertaining tongue in cheek piece. But as a parent who lost her children to an ex husband, I can understand the vitriolic responses from those who lost theirs to this drug. Losing your kids always SUCKS.
instead of talking holier than thou shit put down the pen get off your ass and do something.
Can’t people do their drugs behind closed doors like the rest of us? Surprised the bathroom at the A&W isn’t on here
[…] on Liberty Road. That incident earned Jenkins his nickname and made Bicentennial Park one of the safest places to overdose in the […]