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National News

Inside the Yecosystem: Kanye’s Dystopian Vision for Amish Country

Inside Kanye West's plans to transform Amish Country into a dark futuristic hellscape. Obsession with Amish Values Kanye West is no stranger to grandiose plans and...
Local News

Les Wexner Auctioning Off His American Girl Doll Collection for Charity

Columbus billionaire and avid doll collector Les Wexner announced today that he will be auctioning off his world-class American Girl doll collection for charity....
Drugs & Rec

Kanye West Pens Heartfelt Note to People of Ukraine

Ye, the rapper formerly known as Kanye West, penned a heartfelt note to the people of Ukraine this week. In an exclusive leak obtained...
National News

Archaeologists Discover Little Boy Semen In Michael Jackson’s Tomb

Archaeologists excavating Michael Jackson’s tomb in Forest lawn, California, have uncovered traces of semen that match the DNA makeup of adolescent Homo sapien males. A...
National News

Biden Orders VA To Withhold Health Benefits From Unvaccinated Veterans

President Joe Biden has ordered the Department of Veterans Affairs to withhold healthcare benefits from unvaccinated veterans as part of an aggressive new initiative...
Local News

Smithsonian Selects Columbus for Museum of Alcoholism and Shootouts

According to an announcement from the institute’s board of regents, the Smithsonian Institution has selected Columbus, Ohio as the home for its new National...
Faith & Values

Taliban Launches OnlyFans Competitor OnlyQurans

The Taliban has launched a new website, OnlyQurans, aimed at spreading the message of Islam and the strict moral guidelines prescribed in the Quran....
National News

Slaves Owned By Dr. Seuss Speak Out For The First Time

In light of six Dr. Seuss books being censored for racial insensitivity, several slaves who were owned by the late children's book author are...
National News

Kanye West Announces OJ Simpson As Running Mate

Local News

Politician Believes He’d Make A Difference If He Wasn’t Such A Piece Of Shit

After taking moral inventory, a local politician believes he could have a positive impact on his community if only he wasn't such a piece...
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Delaware Ohio News is an online news and content source dedicated to Delaware, Ohio. Founded in the year 1808, we strive to be Delaware's premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette. Although we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the lords of Delaware news media. That's why we're suicidal and on so many drugs.

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