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Crime

Ignore That Drunk Man With Machete

A hammered drunk man wielding a machete is wandering around downtown Delaware. "Our advice is to avoid eye contact and walk away from the...

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Ignore That Drunk Man With Machete

Crime 0
A hammered drunk man wielding a machete is wandering...

What is a Dead Rat’s Midget’s Anus?

Blog 0
Ah, a question as old as time. Let us...

Health Dept: Please Don’t Copulate on Mattress Behind Kroger

Local News 1
The Delaware Public Health District has asked residents not...

‘Can Opener’ Opens Actual Can

Local News 0
The notorious 'can opener' bridge lived up to its...

Cocaine Lemur: Missing Pet Goes On Drug-Fueled Rampage in Marysville

Drugs & Rec 0
The saga of the missing red ruffed lemur from...

Man Jerks Off Into Bucket

Local News 1
A Delaware man is resting today after spending the...

DUI Checkpoints Planned for Columbus Police Parking Lots

Drugs & Rec 0
The Franklin County DUI Task Force will conduct sobriety...

Columbus Police Unveil Black History Month Cruiser, “AFRICA 1”

Local News 0
The Columbus Police Department has unveiled a special edition...

Antifa Protesters Disrupt Event at Ohio Wesleyan University

Local News 0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2ZYvqUNQAc Video obtained by Delaware Ohio News shows Antifa protesters...
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Local News

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Health Dept: Please Don’t Copulate on Mattress Behind Kroger

The Delaware Public Health District has asked residents not to copulate on the mattress behind Kroger on Route 23. Their announcement read: "There is a mattress...

‘Can Opener’ Opens Actual Can

The notorious 'can opener' bridge lived up to its name this morning as it was used to open an enormous can of Campbell's Tomato...

Man Jerks Off Into Bucket

A Delaware man is resting today after spending the evening feverishly masturbating into a bucket in his backyard.  Joe Tugger, of the Northwest Neighborhood, said...

DUI Checkpoints Planned for Columbus Police Parking Lots

The Franklin County DUI Task Force will conduct sobriety checkpoints in an unlikely place this weekend: the facilities of a fellow law enforcement agency,...

Columbus Police Unveil Black History Month Cruiser, “AFRICA 1”

The Columbus Police Department has unveiled a special edition Martin Luther King Jr.-themed police cruiser in honor of Black History Month. Originally named "History...

Antifa Protesters Disrupt Event at Ohio Wesleyan University

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2ZYvqUNQAc Video obtained by Delaware Ohio News shows Antifa protesters disrupting an international symposium held at Ohio Wesleyan University in Delaware, Ohio, on Saturday afternoon,...

69 Things to Do With Your Storm Banana Stash

Winter Storm Elliott arrived in Delaware, Ohio, bringing snow and brutal cold to town. As is tradition, residents have stocked up on bananas in...

Downtown Clothing Shop Toujours Announces “Biscuits and Blouses” Event

https://youtu.be/-Ege05lBQFk In a bizarre but fun pairing, local clothing consignment shop Toujours is teaming up with KFC for a one-day-only "Biscuits and Blouses" event. The pop-up...

City Appoints First Black Police Chief

The City of Delaware has appointed Captain Adam Moore as the city's first black chief of police. City Manager Tom Homan made the appointment,...

National

Classified Documents Found at 37 Applebee’s Locations

Classified documents have been found in at least 37...

Jeffrey Dahmer’s Victims’ Families Sue Budweiser

7
The families of Jeffrey Dahmer's victims are suing Budweiser,...

Inside the Yecosystem: Kanye’s Dystopian Vision for Amish Country

0
Inside Kanye West's plans to transform Amish Country into...

Les Wexner Auctioning Off His American Girl Doll Collection for Charity

1
Columbus billionaire and avid doll collector Les Wexner announced...

Kanye West Pens Heartfelt Note to People of Ukraine

3
Ye, the rapper formerly known as Kanye West, penned...

Archaeologists Discover Little Boy Semen In Michael Jackson’s Tomb

2
Archaeologists excavating Michael Jackson’s tomb in Forest lawn, California,...

Biden Orders VA To Withhold Health Benefits From Unvaccinated Veterans

209
President Joe Biden has ordered the Department of Veterans...

Smithsonian Selects Columbus for Museum of Alcoholism and Shootouts

0
According to an announcement from the institute’s board of...

Taliban Launches OnlyFans Competitor OnlyQurans

0
The Taliban has launched a new website, OnlyQurans, aimed...

People of Delaware

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Drug Dealers

Sarah Goddammit

Sarah Goddammit, also known as "Sarah, Goddamn Girl, Are You Retarded Or Something? Scary Ass Bitch!" to her loyal customers, is a notorious unlicensed...
Pedophiles

Chow Chow Dang

Chow Chow Dang was once a successful and respected master gardener in Delaware, Ohio. However, his life took a dark turn when he struggled...
City Council

Drew Farrell

Drew Farrell is a city council member representing Ward 4 in Delaware, Ohio. He is known as "Whip" among his constituents, a nickname earned...
City Council

Cory Hoffman

City Council member Cory Hoffman is a freak to be reckoned with. As an attorney and noted hamster breeder, he represents Ward 3 with...
City Council

Stephen Tackett

City Council member Stephen Tackett is the epitome of a model citizen. Born Buddy Whackett, he became Stephen Tackett on his 18th birthday to...
City Council

Catlin Frazier

City Council member Catlin Frazier is an enigma, shrouded in mystery and secrecy. Not much is known about her past or her true origins....

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ALL-TIME HITS

Biden Orders VA To Withhold Health Benefits From Unvaccinated Veterans

209
President Joe Biden has ordered the Department of Veterans...

Delaware Cemetery Begins Exhuming Bodies of Confederate Soldiers

173
Delaware City Council passed a resolution this week ordering...

Jack Hanna Resigns Zoo Post Amid Animal Sex Scandal

220
NOTICE: THIS IS A JOKE! This content isn't real....

Columbus I-71 Shooting Suspect Was Upset His Pet Duck Flew Away

8
A Delaware, Ohio News Exclusive: The suspect in the...

Teaching My Grandpa How to Find Porn on His Phone

3
This is a text message conversation I had with...

Roger Waters, Pink Floyd Co-Founder, Dies Of Dog AIDS At Age 79

30
Roger Waters, legendary musician and founding member of the...

Editor's Picks

Desperate Man Tells Woman to Bring Her Poop Ass to His House

Below is a Facebook messenger conversation between a woman...

Delaware Man Charged With Animal Cruelty After Whoring Out Dying Whale

Delaware native and avid sport fisherman Thomas Frager was...

Community Angry With Fake News Website For Not Telling The Truth

A fake news website is facing a backlash in...

Teaching My Grandpa How to Find Porn on His Phone

This is a text message conversation I had with...

Underfunded Horse Parade Will Use Dead Horses

Organizers announced yesterday that Delaware’s annual All Horse Parade...

6 Safe Places to Overdose on Heroin in Delaware, Ohio

Let's face it, there's nothing you can do about...

Places

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Grocery & Pharmacy

CVS Pharmacy (North Side – West Central Ave)

Looking for a pharmacy experience like no other? Look no further than CVS Pharmacy! With two convenient locations in the heart of Delaware, Ohio,...
Pizza

Mohio Pizza Co.

Mohio Pizza Co. is a family-owned and operated pizza restaurant located in the heart of downtown Delaware, Ohio. The owner, who is known for...
Restaurants & Bars

Typhoon Asian Fusion Bistro

Typhoon Asian Fusion Bistro is a culinary portal to another dimension, located in the heart of downtown Delaware, Ohio. This restaurant is the brainchild...
Restaurants & Bars

Son of Thurman

Son of Thurman is a one-of-a-kind restaurant located in downtown Delaware, Ohio. Known for its bold and daring menu and immersive experience, Son of...
Arts & Entertainment

The Bare Bowl

The Bare Bowl is a one-of-a-kind paint-your-own pottery studio located in the heart of downtown Delaware, Ohio. The studio originally opened as "The Bare...
Restaurants & Bars

92 Chicken

92 Chicken is a strange and disturbing restaurant known for its Korean-style chungus. Located in downtown Delaware, Ohio, the restaurant is operated by 92...

RANDOM

NRA and Ohio Governor John Kasich Aim to Arm Students, Teachers

3
Ohio teachers and students would be required to carry...

U.S. Justice System Is Broken. Football Coaches Should Replace Courts.

1
This whole Urban Meyer fiasco got me thinking: Why...

Delaware Police Reports Week of March 28

0
A woman called police 35 times in a row...

Delaware Police Reports Week of March 7

0
A thirteen year old male was taken to the...

Big Bad John Wins 2011 Little Brown Jug Despite Massive Erection

0
Hometown favorite Big Bad John won the Little Brown...

In-Brief: John Kasich Denies Emailing Crotch Shot

0
A lewd picture emailed to delawareohionews.com from an individual...

Jack Hanna Resigns Zoo Post Amid Animal Sex Scandal

220
NOTICE: THIS IS A JOKE! This content isn't real....

OWU Students Consider Rolling Balls For Second Weekend In A Row

4
Ohio Wesleyan students are considering popping molly and rolling...

About Us

Delaware Ohio News is an online news and content source dedicated to Delaware, Ohio. Founded in the year 1808, we strive to be Delaware's premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette. Although we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the lords of Delaware news media. That's why we're suicidal and on so many drugs.

With all of that said, everything on this website is made up. Do not rely on anything said here.

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