Downtown Delaware, Ohio watering hole The Solar Saloon has announced it will convert to a gay bar sometime this fall.
The move comes after the recent Solar Gate controversy threatened to ruin the existing establishment, according to sources close to the bar. Hundreds of negative reviews and the #SolarGate hashtag emerged on social media this week after the bar’s owner, Ron Limpledick, allegedly directed racist and homophobic remarks toward a customer.
Limpledick denies the claims and says the decision to become a gay bar proves he isn’t prejudiced.
“Gays, slants, spooks — I love everybody,” Limpledick said. “I’m re-opening the Saloon as a gay bar so that there’s a safe, inclusive place for all of these outcasts to gather regardless of their inferior race or sexual orientation.”
According to reviews and reports from those at the bar the night of the incident, Limpledick called an African American customer a “Fancy nigger fuck boy” after the man ordered a Gin and Tonic.
“It was strange,” said Jan Marvula, who witnessed the interaction. “Racist and offensive, but said in kind of a sultry voice, like he was flirting. Beyond shivering a little bit and experiencing an intense urge to flee the establishment, I wasn’t sure what to make of it.”
Limpledick confirms he was sexually aroused but says the comment was taken out of context.
“It was a question,” Limpledick said. “I was asking him if he was gay. I’m not, by the way—you know, not officially—but if he were I was going to try selling him one of our new solar powered penis pumps.”
Limpledick says more solar powered sex toys will be sold as part of the bar’s transition.
The alleged victim, Yung Custodian, said he forgives Limpledick and hopes he gets help.
“He once asked to photograph my dick on a solar panel and I said no because I’m straight. He’s been an asshole ever since,” Custodian said. “Last week he said he was working on a solar powered time machine that would take us back to 1808 where he’d make me work as his gay slave or some shit. I hope he finds Christ.”
Image courtesy of Steve Baker on Flickr