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Tag: Animals

Local News

Delaware Councilman Cory Hoffman Invites Children to Pet His Hamsters

Crime

Raccoon Serial Killer Continues Senseless Violence

Delaware authorities are desperate for leads in the raccoon serial killer case, an investigation that began in mid-February when police received reports of dead...
Drugs & Rec

Columbus Zoo Expects Another 5-10 Animals To Die This Weekend

The Columbus Zoo & Aquarium says they expect another 5 to 10 animals to die this weekend because they don't know what they are...
Crime

Jack Hanna Resigns Zoo Post Amid Animal Sex Scandal

NOTICE: THIS IS A JOKE! This content isn't real. It is a satirical parody written in 2012 after the Jim Tressel scandal at Ohio...
Local News

Councilwoman Fighting To Cement Brighter Future For Roadkill Victims

Five hundred sixty and a half corpses have been removed from Delaware City roads in the first half of 2011, prompting a surge of...
Local News

Kris Jordan Proposes Animal-Human Hybrid Ban

Animal-human hybrids, who have lived in Ohio safely and free of discrimination for the past 20 years, may have to make another state their...
Drugs & Rec

Big Bad John Wins 2011 Little Brown Jug Despite Massive Erection

Hometown favorite Big Bad John won the Little Brown Jug Thursday evening despite maintaining a massive erection for the duration of the second heat. Driven...
Drugs & Rec

Man Drinks 151, Gets Drunk

A man drank 151 at a downtown bar this evening, leaving him crippled drunk by the end of the night. "That is one crazy...
Crime

Man Lets Dog Drive Drunk

Delaware resident Jacob Turhole was arrested for animal endangerment after his dog was pulled over in his truck. The dog was driving, while Turhole...
Local News

Deer Splits Skull, Saves Life

A deer struck a car early this morning, splitting an old woman's skull and leaving her dead at the scene. Astonishingly, the old woman was...

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