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Faith & Values

Catholic Church Secretly Rewriting Bible Passages To Favor Sexual Abuse

Following an accidental document release by the Catholic Church, Delaware Ohio News has learned that church officials across several continents are actively working on...
Local News

Stormy Daniels Arrested After Refusing To Urinate On Columbus Police Officer

Stormy Daniels, the adult firm star suing the President after an alleged affair, has been arrested at an Ohio strip club after refusing to...
National News

Rep. Jim Jordan Compares Wrestling to Gymnastics, Says They’re ‘Sexual Sports’

Facing increased allegations that he ignored sexual misconduct perpetrated against student athletes while he was a wrestling coach at Ohio State, Congressman Jim Jordan...
Crime

City Christmas Tree Accused of Sexual Assault

Downtown Delaware's holiday festivities may end early this year after two women accused the city’s Christmas tree of sexual assault. Main Street Delaware officials...
Faith & Values

Couples Turn to Simulated Rape in Lieu of Contraception

Hundreds of couples across central Ohio and thousands across the nation have embraced simulated rape in order to prevent pregnancy, according to a recent...
Sex

Lick it and Stick it with Perry Nymphman

There has been a lot of debate about what is tasteful in sex columns, especially in college newspapers. Many columns push the envelope in...
Sex

Urination-Defecation: Sexual Revolution

We have all heard of prostitutes: men and women who run the streets, selling sex and sin. But sex isn't all these street warriors...
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Cocaine Lemur: Missing Pet Goes On Drug-Fueled Rampage in Marysville

Drugs & Rec 0
The saga of the missing red ruffed lemur from...

Revised Short North Curfew Only Applies to Blue-Haired People, Allies

Crime 0
In an announcement that can only be seen as...

Man Jerks Off Into Bucket

Local News 0
A Delaware man is resting today after spending the...

DUI Checkpoints Planned for Columbus Police Parking Lots

Drugs & Rec 0
The Franklin County DUI Task Force will conduct sobriety...

Columbus Police Unveil Black History Month Cruiser, “AFRICA 1”

Local News 0
The Columbus Police Department has unveiled a special edition...
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About Us

Delaware Ohio News is an online news and content source dedicated to Delaware, Ohio. Founded in the year 1808, we strive to be Delaware's premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette. Although we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the lords of Delaware news media. That's why we're suicidal and on so many drugs.

With all of that said, everything on this website is made up. Do not rely on anything said here.

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