Pleading with a woman for help finding her clitoris

The days of roughing your way to the clitoris or, worse yet, never finding it at all, are over. Women are demanding more from their sexual partners. This list provides men with 13 polite ways to rise to the occasion by soliciting help.

1. It is time. Will you disrobe and circle your clitoris with this sharpie marker?

2. Excuse me, will you kindly guide my finger to your clitoris?

3. Ah. The clitoris. I have yet to meet thy supple grape. Will you kindly lead the way?

4. Your clitoris is…here, correct?

5. Yes, it is unloaded. Now, will you place your clitoris in the barrel?

 

6. Will you help me find your clitoris? I don’t know where it is.

7. This is embarrassing but, I’ve seemed to gotten lost en route to your Temple Mount. I know Clitoris is there waiting for me. Will you help me correct course?

8. Fine dame! As you wish. I will chomp at thy gash posthaste. But first, do take my hand, and invite me betwixt!

9. Let me turn on my flashlight. OK, I see the cave. Which one is Clitoris?

10. Will you take off your mask and show me the way to your clitoris?

11. Will you help me find your clitoris?

12. Can you show me how to properly treat your clitoris first? I just left the gym and I’m afraid I will rip it off.

13. Let’s do something different. Will you take this cotton swab, dip it in that cayenne sauce, and paint it over your clitoris? I will take it from there.

Image courtesy of tomhilton on Flickr

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