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Taliban Launches OnlyFans Competitor OnlyQurans

The Taliban has launched a new website, OnlyQurans, aimed at spreading the message of Islam and the strict moral guidelines prescribed in the Quran....
Crime

Columbus City Leaders Invite Ghosts of Murder Victims to Join Anti-Violence Campaign

Frustrated by a staggering increase in violence, Columbus City Council and Mayor Andrew Ginther are trying something radical: reaching out to the ghosts of...
Politics

Delaware County Commissioners Preemptively Cancel Themselves For Being So White

The Delaware County Commissioners voted 2-1 yesterday evening to preemptively cancel themselves for being too white. Commissioner Barb Lewis, who submitted the resolution and...
National News

Kanye West Announces OJ Simpson As Running Mate

OWU

Ohio Wesleyan Black Lives Matter Interpretive Dance Raises Eyebrows

An Ohio Wesleyan University performance in support of the Black Lives Matter movement at Chappelear Drama Center in Delaware, Ohio raised eyebrows this week....
Local News

Mayor Ginther Recommends Using Zoom to Protest from Home

In an address to the city following weeks of protests over the death of George Floyd and racism in America, Columbus, Ohio Mayor Andrew...
Local News

Politician Believes He’d Make A Difference If He Wasn’t Such A Piece Of Shit

After taking moral inventory, a local politician believes he could have a positive impact on his community if only he wasn't such a piece...
National News

Trump Gives Homeless Veterans a Lifetime Supply of Signs

President Trump today pledged that his Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) will be helping homeless veterans grow their panhandling businesses by providing them with...
National News

Mike Pence Says He Shouldn’t Allow Men to Suck on His Penis

Vice President Mike Pence said he shouldn’t allow men to suck on his penis because it goes against his Christian beliefs.  “I am a Christian...
National News

President Trump Says Kids With Autism Are ‘Big Weird’

President Donald Trump referred to kids with autism as “big weird” on Saturday while answering questions about the Autism Collaboration, Accountability, Research, Education and...
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Cocaine Lemur: Missing Pet Goes On Drug-Fueled Rampage in Marysville

Drugs & Rec 0
The saga of the missing red ruffed lemur from...

Revised Short North Curfew Only Applies to Blue-Haired People, Allies

Crime 0
In an announcement that can only be seen as...

Man Jerks Off Into Bucket

Local News 0
A Delaware man is resting today after spending the...

DUI Checkpoints Planned for Columbus Police Parking Lots

Drugs & Rec 0
The Franklin County DUI Task Force will conduct sobriety...

Columbus Police Unveil Black History Month Cruiser, “AFRICA 1”

Local News 0
The Columbus Police Department has unveiled a special edition...
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Delaware Ohio News is an online news and content source dedicated to Delaware, Ohio. Founded in the year 1808, we strive to be Delaware's premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette. Although we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the lords of Delaware news media. That's why we're suicidal and on so many drugs.

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