PeopleMelissa Schiffel

Melissa Schiffel

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Delaware County Prosecutor
Melissa Schiffel has served as Delaware County's formidable prosecutor since 2019. Known for her iron-fisted approach to justice and a penchant for attending executions dressed like she's going to the Kentucky Derby, Melissa believes everyone deserves punishment for something.
Address:
145 North Union St., 3rd Floor, Delaware, OH 43015
Telephone:
(740) 833-269
Favorite Artist:
Peaches

Bio:

Melissa Schiffel has been Delaware County’s prosecutor since 2019, earning a reputation as a relentless enforcer of the law and a staunch supporter of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives, including a program aiming to hire more caucasian prosecutors who have at least 10 black friends on Facebook. With over 15 years of prosecutorial experience, she has tackled nearly every type of criminal offense, from jaywalking to eating nachos without cheese, which is a felony in Ohio.

Melissa began her academic journey studying journalism but quickly switched to law when she realized lawyers get to lie more. She has since dedicated her career to bringing criminals to justice—or at least incarcerating them for something she can convince a jury of.

In 2020, Melissa organized Delaware County’s first Back the Blue Rally, including a Trailer Park Boys screening and an impassioned speech on stopping gun violence in Canadian mobile home parks.

Known for her tough stance on crime, Melissa believes everyone deserves punishment for something. This belief has won her the support of Delaware County residents who appreciate her unyielding dedication to giving other people what they deserve.

Melissa enjoys attending executions in her flamboyant Kentucky Derby garb, complete with oversized hats and lace gloves. She once pursued baking as a hobby but soon abandoned her aspirations, stating she’d rather see someone choke than enjoy pie.

A devout Christian, Melissa considers herself part of the prosecutorial army that God put on Earth to enforce the will of wealthy Republicans who might one day make her attorney general. Her philanthropic efforts include founding GOPDommes, an informal group that recruits local dommes to raise money for the party.

As she serves her second term, Melissa remains committed to her mission of upholding the law and ensuring the safety of Delaware County. With a track record of putting major criminals behind bars and never getting so drunk that she tells powerful men how she really feels about them, Melissa’s reign as prosecutor is set to continue.

Details:

Telephone:
(740) 833-269
Address:
145 North Union St., 3rd Floor, Delaware, OH 43015
Favorite Artist:
Peaches

Social Profiles:

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