Ohio Wesleyan sophomore Juliet Jaletti took a leap toward porn super stardom earlier this week when she uploaded her first adult video onto the internet.

“It’s always been my dream to embarrass my entire family by having sex on camera,” Jaletti said.

Jaletti said she emailed the video to her parents, 16 year old sister, and 12 year old brother. She also forwarded the link to all of the students, faculty, and staff of her former high school and OWU.

“I just don’t see why girls would want to keep something this fucking awesome a secret,” Jaletti said. “I hope my brother jerks it hard to my sweet new video.”

Jalleti’s family refused to comment.

College counselor Betty Olpoon said this is abnormal behavior, even for a super colossal slut.

“While there is a large number of skanks in college, most of these bitches you see in porn or on ‘Girls Gone Wild’ are drunk and probably would not want their parents, or anyone they know, to see them acting this way,” Olpoon said. “I haven’t heard of a case where the tramp actually sends the video to someone like her college advisor, and advises him to ‘grab some lube, dude.'”

According to sophomore Stan Teatman, the video is the hottest thing on campus.

“Most of the guys in the class have drilled Juliet,” Teatman said. “So it’s awesome to tell your buddies at home that you penetrated a porn star, especially one with such perfect nipples.”

Teatman went on to say that the nipples are the immaculate balance between needles and pancakes.

Senior Fred Topnick, head of Campus Crusade for Christ, said he was disgusted with the video.

“First of all, her face is not that cute, and I just don’t think her nipples were ‘immaculate,'” Topnick said. “I actually kind of like them to be more on the ‘pancake’ side. Plus I make my bitch shave her pubic hair into a crucifix. Now that’s some hot shit, especially when she’s on her period.”

Jaletti said she is not sure when she will come out with another video.

“Right now, I’m just torn between doing some really hardcore anal with a black guy, or having a skinny white freshman jerk off in my mouth and hit me in the head with an axe handle,” Jalleti said.

Ms. Jaletti said she plans to continue her education at Ohio Wesleyan while continuing her porn career. She is a Black World Studies major.

4 COMMENTS

  1. I’m at student at owu and I’ve never heard of any of these people and I’m in campus crusade for christ and know for a fact that any leader of the organization would never ever say anything like this…this is absurd and I hope people don’t believe that people would act like this.

  2. There is no Juliet Jalleti, and there is no staff member or counselor named Betty Olpoon. This is a made up story. All I had to do was read the comments by the so called counselor, and knew it was a joke. Counselors at Christian Universities don’t use that kind of language and keep their job.

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