Romney Selects Former OSU Quarterback Art Schlichter as Running Mate

Share This Post

After months of speculation, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has chosen former Ohio State University football star Art Schlichter as his vice presidential running mate.

“I’ve known Art for many years, and I love him just as much as the people of Ohio, and the rest of the country do,” Romney said. “He was not only a spectacular Buckeye on the football field, but has proven to be a huge winner in the game of life.”

Schlichter was unavailable for comment for unspecified reasons. The Romney campaign has asked kindly that nobody “Google” him, however. This should not be an issue for Romney’s core supporters: those over 60, blind people, and serial gambling fucks constantly defrauding innocent people on Wall Street.

 

Sofa Malone
Sofa Malone
Delaware Ohio News Editor-in-Chief. Connect with Sofa via the Delaware Ohio News Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/delawareohionews.

2 COMMENTS

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Housing Development Approved for Mingo Park

The Delaware Planning Commission has approved Manifest Destiny Fields,...

Volunteers Needed to Rake Leaves at Blue Limestone Park

To combat the unsightly side of autumn, the City...

Ignore That Drunk Man With Machete

A hammered drunk man wielding a machete is wandering...

What is a Dead Rat’s Midget’s Anus?

Ah, a question as old as time. Let us...

Health Dept: Please Don’t Copulate on Mattress Behind Kroger

The Delaware Public Health District has asked residents not...

‘Can Opener’ Opens Actual Can

The notorious 'can opener' bridge lived up to its...

Subscribe to Stay in the Loop