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National News

National News

NRA Says Blue Lives May Have Mattered a Little Too Much During Parkland Shooting

National Rifle Association CEO Wayne LaPierre went on the offensive today, pushing back against local law enforcement and questioning the motives of Florida sheriff...
Local News

NASA’s First Terrestrial Space Station Will Seek Intelligent Life on Earth

NASA administrators announced today that Delaware, Ohio has been selected as the site of the agency's first terrestrial space station, ending an eight year search...
Local News

Ohio Gov. John Kasich Legalizes Exhumation of Confederate Soldiers Statewide

A small Ohio town that exhumed the bodies of Confederate soldiers and discarded their remains in a dirty lake has inspired Ohio Governor John...
Local News

NRA and Ohio Governor John Kasich Aim to Arm Students, Teachers

Ohio teachers and students would be required to carry a state issued handgun or assault rifle under a proposed law introduced by Ohio Governor...
National News

Obama Misses Friend’s Wedding, Apologizes with Massive Drone Strike on Reception

President Barack Obama missed his good friend Al Kada's wedding last weekend, and has apologized the only way the president knows how; with unbridled...
Crime

Delaware Man Taken into Police Custody After Forgetting 9/11

Delaware man Yancey Glurglebottom was taken into police custody early Tuesday morning after local police discovered he had completely forgotten about the events of...
Faith & Values

Couples Turn to Simulated Rape in Lieu of Contraception

Hundreds of couples across central Ohio and thousands across the nation have embraced simulated rape in order to prevent pregnancy, according to a recent...
National News

Romney Selects Former OSU Quarterback Art Schlichter as Running Mate

After months of speculation, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has chosen former Ohio State University football star Art Schlichter as his vice presidential...
National News

Roger Waters, Pink Floyd Co-Founder, Dies Of Dog AIDS At Age 75

Roger Waters, legendary musician and founding member of progressive rock band Pink Floyd, died today after a two year battle with a rare form...
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Popular

Cocaine Lemur: Missing Pet Goes On Drug-Fueled Rampage in Marysville

Drugs & Rec 0
The saga of the missing red ruffed lemur from...

Revised Short North Curfew Only Applies to Blue-Haired People, Allies

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In an announcement that can only be seen as...

Man Jerks Off Into Bucket

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A Delaware man is resting today after spending the...

DUI Checkpoints Planned for Columbus Police Parking Lots

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The Franklin County DUI Task Force will conduct sobriety...

Columbus Police Unveil Black History Month Cruiser, “AFRICA 1”

Local News 0
The Columbus Police Department has unveiled a special edition...
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About Us

Delaware Ohio News is an online news and content source dedicated to Delaware, Ohio. Founded in the year 1808, we strive to be Delaware's premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette. Although we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the lords of Delaware news media. That's why we're suicidal and on so many drugs.

With all of that said, everything on this website is made up. Do not rely on anything said here.

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