National News

NASA’s First Terrestrial Space Station Will Seek Intelligent Life on Earth

NASA administrators announced today that Delaware, Ohio has been selected as the site of the agency's first terrestrial space station, ending an eight year search...

Ohio Gov. John Kasich Legalizes Exhumation of Confederate Soldiers Statewide

A small Ohio town that exhumed the bodies of Confederate soldiers and discarded their remains in a dirty lake has inspired Ohio Governor John...

NRA and Ohio Governor John Kasich Aim to Arm Students, Teachers

Ohio teachers and students would be required to carry a state issued handgun or assault rifle under a proposed law introduced by Ohio Governor...

Obama Misses Friend’s Wedding, Apologizes with Massive Drone Strike on Reception

President Barack Obama missed his good friend Al Kada's wedding last weekend, and has apologized the only way the president knows how; with unbridled...

Delaware Man Taken into Police Custody After Forgetting 9/11

Delaware man Yancey Glurglebottom was taken into police custody early Tuesday morning after local police discovered he had completely forgotten about the events of...

Couples Turn to Simulated Rape in Lieu of Contraception

Hundreds of couples across central Ohio and thousands across the nation have embraced simulated rape in order to prevent pregnancy, according to a recent...

Romney Selects Former OSU Quarterback Art Schlichter as Running Mate

After months of speculation, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has chosen former Ohio State University football star Art Schlichter as his vice presidential...

Roger Waters, Pink Floyd Co-Founder, Dies Of Dog AIDS At Age 75

Roger Waters, legendary musician and founding member of progressive rock band Pink Floyd, died today after a two year battle with a rare form...

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Classified Documents Found at 37 Applebee’s Locations

Classified documents have been found in at least 37...

69 Things to Do With Your Storm Banana Stash

Winter Storm Elliott arrived in Delaware, Ohio, bringing snow...

How to Fall Down the Stairs into a Bowl of Soup

Falling down the stairs directly into a bowl of...

How to Be the Toxic Family Member This Christmas

Are you tired of being the goody-two-shoes of the...

Op-Ed: How I Learned To Love My Penis at Age 55

As a 55-year-old man, I've had a love-hate relationship...