National News

Ohio Gov. John Kasich Legalizes Exhumation of Confederate Soldiers Statewide

A small Ohio town that exhumed the bodies of Confederate soldiers and discarded their remains in a dirty lake has inspired Ohio Governor John...

NRA and Ohio Governor John Kasich Aim to Arm Students, Teachers

Ohio teachers and students would be required to carry a state issued handgun or assault rifle under a proposed law introduced by Ohio Governor...

Obama Misses Friend’s Wedding, Apologizes with Massive Drone Strike on Reception

President Barack Obama missed his good friend Al Kada's wedding last weekend, and has apologized the only way the president knows how; with unbridled...

Delaware Man Taken into Police Custody After Forgetting 9/11

Delaware man Yancey Glurglebottom was taken into police custody early Tuesday morning after local police discovered he had completely forgotten about the events of...

Couples Turn to Simulated Rape in Lieu of Contraception

Hundreds of couples across central Ohio and thousands across the nation have embraced simulated rape in order to prevent pregnancy, according to a recent...

Romney Selects Former OSU Quarterback Art Schlichter as Running Mate

After months of speculation, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has chosen former Ohio State University football star Art Schlichter as his vice presidential...

Roger Waters, Pink Floyd Co-Founder, Dies Of Dog AIDS At Age 79

Roger Waters, legendary musician and founding member of progressive rock band Pink Floyd, died today after a two-year battle with a rare form of...

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Prosecutor Claims Judge Schuck Violated Her Via LinkedIn

DELAWARE, Ohio — Describing what she called a devastating...

Downtown Delaware Ghost Sign Finalists

Downtown Delaware has been working to restore several ghost...

Punch the Monkey Killed in Israeli Airstrike

ICHIKAWA, JAPAN—Describing the seven-month-old Japanese macaque as a growing...

Prosecutor’s Office Requires Judges to Schedule Blowjobs

DELAWARE, OH—Claiming that a local judge's routine visits to...

Jim Schuck: ‘I Became a Judge to Get Pussy’

By Judge James P. Schuck, Delaware County Common Pleas...