Local News

Delaware Ohio News Little League Team in First Place

Midway through the regular season, the Delaware Ohio News (DON) Little League team is 10-0 and in first place in the Delaware Parks and...

Kasich Proposes New Tax on Public Workers

After the crushing defeat of Senate Bill 5 on Nov. 8, Governor John Kasich is proposing a new bill to the Ohio legislature, which...

City Council Completes Annual Drinking Binge, Plans For Regular Inebriation

Delaware City Council threw a drunken rager before Monday’s meeting, celebrating another year of successfully fooling the public into believing in the importance of...

Unique, Exciting Downtown Store Goes Bankrupt Because No One Cared

The Next Big Thing, a specialty retailer located on Sandusky Street in downtown Delaware, closed its doors for the final time over the weekend....

VA Patients To Share Prosthetics After Kasich Denies Funds

All amputees being treated in Ohio Veterans Affairs (VA) hospitals will be forced to share prosthetics after Governor John Kasich (R) formally denied a...

Governor Wants Wikipedia To Replace State’s Teachers

Under Gov. John Kasich’s newest initiative, Ohio would eliminate 90% of its teaching positions by utilizing the free encyclopedia website Wikipedia. Revealed in a...

Delaware Gazette Website Dies Of Natural Causes At Age 22

The Delaware Gazette’s flagship website, delgazette.com, passed away quietly yesterday on the local MidOhio.net server where it was housed. The site, more than 15...

Delaware Police Department Suspected Of Doing Police Work

After decades of treating bar fights like national security emergencies and sending multiple cruisers to routine traffic stops, new evidence shows that Delaware police...

Jack Hanna Resigns Zoo Post Amid Animal Sex Scandal

NOTICE: THIS IS A JOKE! This content isn't real. It is a satirical parody written in 2012 after the Jim Tressel scandal at Ohio...

Councilwoman Fighting To Cement Brighter Future For Roadkill Victims

Five hundred sixty and a half corpses have been removed from Delaware City roads in the first half of 2011, prompting a surge of...

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Housing Development Approved for Mingo Park

The Delaware Planning Commission has approved Manifest Destiny Fields,...

Volunteers Needed to Rake Leaves at Blue Limestone Park

To combat the unsightly side of autumn, the City...

Ignore That Drunk Man With Machete

A hammered drunk man wielding a machete is wandering...

What is a Dead Rat’s Midget’s Anus?

Ah, a question as old as time. Let us...

Health Dept: Please Don’t Copulate on Mattress Behind Kroger

The Delaware Public Health District has asked residents not...