Old Dog Alehouse To Close By May 2019

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The owners of recently opened Old Dog Alehouse & Brewery say they will close their doors by May 2019 because they should have named the establishment Old Dog Brewery & Alehouse instead and can’t go on much longer with a stupid name.

Co-owner Semeninmy Underwear Areyouhappyhere says his wife made the fateful decision that doomed their business.

“I fucking told her that we should name it Old Dog Brewery & Alehouse — that the brewery had to come first before we could be an alehouse — but she swore it should be in alphabetical order instead. So it became Old Dog Alehouse & Brewery and we were condemned from the very start,” Areyouhappyhere said. “The alphabet has ruined my entire life. I could strangle a letter right now.”

Brenda Areyouhappyhere says her husband shut down her original idea and that they could have been successful if they had went with her first name instead.

“Old Dog was my second choice. My original idea was ‘Durpin’ in Delaware’ but he said it was offensive to our customer base and that no one would want to eat here if they knew we hated them and thought they were slobbering dumb asses.”

Both owners say the decision has nothing to do with not being an actual brewery, hating Delaware, or failing to give a shit.

Ricardo Paye
Ricardo Paye
Ricardo Paye is a Senior Correspondent with Delaware Ohio News. Born and raised in the Delaware County Fairgrounds, he's a reporter with a deep knowledge of the streets who isn't afraid to ask tough questions. His fondest childhood memory is getting a hand job from a public utility worker in the basement of Pilsner's 5 & Dime store. He holds a bachelor's degree in Euthanasia from Ohio Wesleyan University.


  1. Old Dog Alehouse was a great place for my only visit. The service, food and drink was perfect. I’m ready to return when they return to business during the corona virus situation.


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