Delaware resident Ryan Dennis, 21, plans to sue McDonald’s after he was refused service because he was not wearing a shirt. He was only wearing a vest.
McDonald’s has long had the policy of “no shirt, no shoes, no service,” and has a sign on the door to display the policy. Dennis, a 21 year old college student and frequent McDonald’s customer, said he does not see the difference between a shirt and a vest.
“Look, all I’m saying is that my vest was buttoned up most of the way,” Dennis said. “I know vests don’t have sleeves, but I saw this dude right in front of me get served while wearing a wifebeater. This is clearly discrimination against people who choose to wear vests without a shirt underneath it.”
This is the ninth time in December that a customer has been refused service for only wearing a vest, according to Larry Smith, manager of the McDonald’s on Troy Road
“Shit, I’ve kicked that douche bag Dennis kid out like 5 or 6 of those times,” Smith said. “I yelled at him across the counter, ‘Look you ass fondling garbage pail, put on a fucking shirt and I’ll give you your damn double cheese!’ I just can’t believe someone would wear that in a family restaurant.”
Dennis said he is confident that he will win this lawsuit
“I didn’t sue the first five times I was kicked out because I was scared of taking on this huge corporation,” Dennis said. “But after having a long philosophical discussion about what constitutes a shirt with my buddies at Clancey’s, I decided it was my duty to stop this discrimination against people who wear vests with nothing underneath. Power to the people!”
Dennis and his friends are also planning to stage a sit in at the Troy Road McDonald’s, wearing only vests. Longtime friend of Dennis and fellow McDonald’s enthusiast Doug Dienst said they would try to get someone to wear every kind of vest at the sit in, including button up, and zip up vests.
“Well, none of us really wear vests except Ryan, so I guess we will have to go shopping at Kohl’s or something,” Dienst said. “Especially with this shitty weather, I just don’t know exactly when we will do it. We are also waiting on Jim Tressel to get back to us.”
According to the Center for Shirt and Shoes Control, McDonald’s refuses service to 10,000 Americans annually for not adhering to their stringent policy. The center said that 30% of the refusals are shirt related, 40% are shoe related, and the other 30% are other problems which are decided on a case by case basis by the McDonald’s legal team. There is no statistical margin of error.
Benjamin Feeley, head of the McDonald’s legal team, said the courts have consistently been on their side concerning vest incidents.
“We have won like, four straight cases against those people refused service for wearing only a vest,” Feeley said. “It is very important to the mission of McDonald’s to keep these sick freaks out of restaurants. We are just doing our part.”
William Louthan, Ph.D., a professor of politics and government at Ohio Wesleyan University, said he is unsure what would happen if this goes to the Supreme Court.
“There is not much jurisprudence on what constitutes a shirt in the context of being refused service in a restaurant,” Louthan said. “I would guess that the court would rule in favor of Dennis, because of the equal protection clause in the 14th amendment.”
Dennis said he will continue to wear his button up vest without any shirt underneath until he wins this case.
“I will not stop, and I will never give up,” Dennis said, as he munched on a Nachos Bell Grande with chili on top. “Vests are awesome, and so am I. I have no doubt that I will come out on top, and fuck lots of bitches after I win.”