Les Wexner Columbus Mansion

After weeks of sleepless soul-searching and decades of meticulously destroying any information outing him as a sexual deviant, L Brands founder and billionaire Les Wexner is once again sleeping peacefully in his Columbus-area mansion. 

The news comes after Wexner’s longtime associate, accused human trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, was found dead in his New York jail cell Saturday.   

Wexner and Epstein’s relationship had been under intense scrutiny since a July indictment accused Epstein of crimes including sex trafficking and the molestation of minors. 

As one of Epstein’s only clients, it is believed that Wexner’s wealth helped finance the predator’s vast human trafficking operation, which included the abuse of young girls on a secluded private island in the Caribbean.  

On the island, young girls were reportedly stripped naked, dressed head-to-toe in Victoria’s Secret lingerie, raped mercilessly in sound-proof sex chambers decorated as spiritual outposts and resold to less wealthy men of merit.

A Wexner associate who wished to remain anonymous said the business magnate is happy that justice will be avoided, but cautions against rumors and speculation linking Wexner to the murder. 

“Mr. Wexner is glad the Epstein case is behind him; but, it’s a stretch to think that he ensured the death of his pederastic lover and financial manager. Leslie would never furnish Manhattan corrections officers with McDonald’s money for strangling his kid-diddling partner-in-crime,” the anonymous source said. 

“Sure, Mr. Wexner has been pacing and shredding documents on his compound for 30 days straight. He’s always been thorough. And yeah, the team of fixers he dispatched to New York in July returned in time for Sunday dinner with he and Abigail. But that doesn’t mean anything. Rich people value their privacy, and protect their secrets at all costs. Who wouldn’t?” 

Les Wexner declined to comment on Epstein, but remarked while drooling, “My pillow is very silky and soft and cold on the other side. It feels good on my head and neck.”

1 COMMENT

  1. The allegations in this clearly biased fake news reporting simply CAN”T be true and are clearly VILE, HATEFUL & ANTI-SEMITIC! Soon, thankfully, there will be a law against such vile discrimination. But you Americans must give up your guns first. And give them up you WILL, soon enough!

    I know my friend Les Wexner very well; he’s just a kindly, aged Jewish man, truly one of God’s Chosen People. He never violated a law in his entire life and is therefore BLAMELESS. He Honestly & Morally made his BILLIONS of dollars (some of which went to me) by dehumanizing & commodifying hundreds of millions of women and children for mass sexual gratification. Perfectly acceptable and someone you all should look up to! He therefore simply COULD NOT have had ANYTHING AT ALL to do with funding and participating in the RAPE and TORTURE of countless underaged women…and reportedly even girls as young as six years old….as part of a supposed worldwide child sex trafficking ring perpetualized for the purpose of obtaining political blackmail over world leaders! This power over world leaders already exists, it is simply a Gift given to God’s Chosen People….WE don’t need blackmail when we have GOD on our side!!! And Christians don’t forget WE gave you JESUS! And also you should feel very guilty because WE are victims of the GERMAN holocaust! So please, do us all a favor and check your white, brown and black privilege at the door of God’s Chosen Race.

    Les Wexner is a great ally of Israel and Israel is truly America’s greatest ally, therefore all Americans should show their solidarity with God’s Chosen Les Wexner & State of Israel by declaring allegiance to the State of Israel. If America doesn’t bless Israel with Billions of dollars a year in taxpayer money, God won’t bless America with neverending wars for Israeli glory!!!

    America- Let’s Make Israel Great Again!

    God Bless Les Wexner & Donald Trump & US Congress/AIPAC!

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