The Franklin County DUI Task Force will conduct sobriety checkpoints in an unlikely place this weekend: the facilities of a fellow law enforcement agency, the Columbus Police Department.
“St. Patrick’s Day is one of the worst for drinking and driving,” said Franklin County Sheriff Dallas Baldwin. “Our mission is to keep the community safe, and one of the best ways to do that is to keep Columbus police officers off the streets. They’re some of the drunkest leprechauns in town.”
The announcement comes after three Columbus Division of Police officers were each arrested within four days of one another in unrelated OVI incidents.
Columbus Police Chief Elaine Bryant seemed unbothered by the drinking allegations and referenced her department’s performance when she was spotted outside Avalon bar downtown after 2 a.m. Thursday.
“Ain’t no lowly county sheriff gonna kill our vibe,” said Bryant before stumbling off the curb and shattering a bottle of E&J she had confiscated from the bar, squatting to urinate over the broken glass. “The murder rate down, ain’t it? Then leave me be, with ya bitch ass.”
Another officer escorting Bryant then pulled out his gun and initiated a game of Drunk Gun Mouth, shoving his pistol into Chief Bryant’s mouth, prompting her to pull out her weapon and stick it in his mouth. Chief Bryant lost the game when she withdrew her pistol to guzzle a nipper of Fireball.
The pair then hopped into the police department’s new DUI Interceptor vehicle and peeled off down 5th street.