Creepy East side sixth grader Johnny Wacky has called off a school shooting he had planned for Monday January 28th.
“My mom locked up all the god damn guns,” Wacky reported on his blog, Life is Dumb and I Might be Gay.
According to those familiar with Wacky, he has what it takes to be the first school shooter in Delaware’s history.
“He grew up on the East side, has a white trash mother, started drinking when he was 12, masturbates to boy’s butts, likes the computer, eats spaghetti in the bath tub – all the signs are there,” school counselor Margaret Meter said in a phone interview. “I wish there was something I could do for him, but he’s destined to put a bullet in my skull.”