In-Brief

In-Brief: Delaware Police Department Begs For Attention With New Gaudy SUV

The Delaware Police Department's brand new, $50,000 dip-shit mobile debuted on the streets of Delaware today. According to Police Chief Russell Martin, the bold...

In-Brief: Teen Finger-Banging Down 11% In April

Teen finger-banging was down 11% city-wide in April, according to a recent poll. Experts speculate that evolution may have played a part in this...

In-Brief: Elton John’s Second Cousin Uses Restroom At Delaware Waffle House

The second cousin of Grammy Award winning musician Elton John used the restroom at Delaware's Waffle House over the weekend. Angela Jones, the child of...

In-Brief: Police Chief Martin Reprimanded For Not Tweeting

Delaware Police Chief Russ Martin has been reprimanded by City Hall for not tweeting about a 14 vehicle pile up that occurred on 36/37...

In-Brief: Strand Theatre Considers Buying A Tiger

Historic downtown movie theater The Strand recently filed paperwork with the city that would approve their plans to buy and house a Bengal Tiger...

In-Brief: Area Cat Sits Around All Day

A Siamese cat in Hayes Colony sits around the house all day, according to its owner. Horse Radish, a 10-year-old cat imported from Arizona,...

In-Brief: Christian Fanatics’ Fantasy World Comes to End Sunday

While Christian fanatics anxiously awaited the end of the real world Saturday, May 21, they were oblivious to the fact that their own fantasy...

In-Brief: John Kasich Denies Emailing Crotch Shot

A lewd picture emailed to delawareohionews.com from an individual claiming to be John Kasich was not sent by the governor, his office claims. Received late...

In-Brief: Mayor Decides Not To Run For President

Delaware Mayor Gary Milner has decided not to run for President in 2012, says a source close to the mayor. "He has to mow the...

In-Brief: Delaware Man Killed In Car Accident Remains In Critical Condition

A Delaware man killed in a car accident this afternoon on Route 23 remains in critical condition at Riverside Hospital this evening, the State...

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Health Dept: Please Don’t Copulate on Mattress Behind Kroger

The Delaware Public Health District has asked residents not...

‘Can Opener’ Opens Actual Can

The notorious 'can opener' bridge lived up to its...

Cocaine Lemur: Missing Pet Goes On Drug-Fueled Rampage in Marysville

The saga of the missing red ruffed lemur from...