Delaware Ohio Police Department New SUV

The Delaware Police Department’s brand new, $50,000 dip-shit mobile debuted on the streets of Delaware today.

According to Police Chief Russell Martin, the bold design is meant to give officers more pride in their work, and to ensure they’re noticed when sitting in parking lots discussing how worthless they are.

Captain Jenokowski, the first officer to drive the truck, said the attention felt great.

“Sometimes I get noticed for being a fat slob, but today I was noticed for being a dickhead cop driving a completely unnecessary sport utility vehicle,” Jenokowski said. “It was awesome. Setting up our Easter Sunday speed trap in this bad boy made me feel like a real man.”


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