How to Be the Toxic Family Member This Christmas

Share This Post

Are you tired of being the goody-two-shoes of the family? Do you want to be the black sheep this holiday season? Well, look no further because we have the perfect guide for you! Here’s how to be the most toxic member of your family this Christmas:

  1. Start arguments with everyone: This is a classic way to ruin the holiday cheer. Simply bring up controversial topics or disagree with everything that anyone says. If you’re feeling extra toxic, try to get under people’s skin by poking at their insecurities or picking at their flaws.
  2. Refuse to help with any tasks: It’s the holiday season, so everyone should pitch in and help out. But not you! Refuse to lift a finger, whether it’s setting the table, doing the dishes, or helping with the cooking. After all, it’s not your responsibility.
  3. Bring up past mistakes and grudges: Nothing says “toxic” like dredging up old wounds and refusing to let go of past grudges. Make sure to bring up every mistake that anyone in the family has ever made, no matter how small or insignificant. And don’t forget to hold a grudge against anyone who has wronged you, no matter how long ago it happened.
  4. Insist on doing things your way: It’s the holidays, so you should be amenable and go with the flow, right? Wrong. Insist on doing everything your way, even if it means ruining other people’s plans or making things more difficult for everyone. After all, you know best.
  5. Complain constantly: If there’s one thing that will really bring down the mood, it’s constant complaining. No matter what’s going on, find something to complain about. Is the food too salty? Is the music too loud? Is the temperature too hot or too cold? Complain, complain, complain!

With these tips, you’ll be the most toxic member of your family in no time. Remember, the goal is not to have a happy and enjoyable holiday season but rather to be as disruptive and difficult as possible. Happy holidays!

Ricardo Paye
Ricardo Paye
Ricardo Paye is a Senior Correspondent with Delaware Ohio News. Born and raised in the Delaware County Fairgrounds, he's a reporter with a deep knowledge of the streets who isn't afraid to ask tough questions. His fondest childhood memory is getting a hand job from a public utility worker in the basement of Pilsner's 5 & Dime store. He holds a bachelor's degree in Euthanasia from Ohio Wesleyan University.

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Volunteers Needed to Rake Leaves at Blue Limestone Park

To combat the unsightly side of autumn, the City...

Ignore That Drunk Man With Machete

A hammered drunk man wielding a machete is wandering...

What is a Dead Rat’s Midget’s Anus?

Ah, a question as old as time. Let us...

Health Dept: Please Don’t Copulate on Mattress Behind Kroger

The Delaware Public Health District has asked residents not...

‘Can Opener’ Opens Actual Can

The notorious 'can opener' bridge lived up to its...

Cocaine Lemur: Missing Pet Goes On Drug-Fueled Rampage in Marysville

The saga of the missing red ruffed lemur from...

Subscribe to Stay in the Loop