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Faith & Values

Faith & Values

Catholic Church Secretly Rewriting Bible Passages To Favor Sexual Abuse

Following an accidental document release by the Catholic Church, Delaware Ohio News has learned that church officials across several continents are actively working on...
Faith & Values

Couples Turn to Simulated Rape in Lieu of Contraception

Hundreds of couples across central Ohio and thousands across the nation have embraced simulated rape in order to prevent pregnancy, according to a recent...
Faith & Values

Atheist Manages To Quit Drinking

Rob Stoney, 34, quit drinking alcohol one year ago today, and said he has his life back on track. He moved back in with...
Faith & Values

90% Hope God Is White

Ninety percent of Delaware County residents hope God is white, according to a recent survey. The survey results received a largely positive reaction from the...
Faith & Values

Octavianism Continues to Grow

The First Church of Octavianism, located at 4400 South Sandusky Street, has announced that it will build a new, larger facility in 2008. The young,...

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Cocaine Lemur: Missing Pet Goes On Drug-Fueled Rampage in Marysville

Drugs & Rec 0
The saga of the missing red ruffed lemur from...

Revised Short North Curfew Only Applies to Blue-Haired People, Allies

Crime 0
In an announcement that can only be seen as...

Man Jerks Off Into Bucket

Local News 0
A Delaware man is resting today after spending the...

DUI Checkpoints Planned for Columbus Police Parking Lots

Drugs & Rec 0
The Franklin County DUI Task Force will conduct sobriety...

Columbus Police Unveil Black History Month Cruiser, “AFRICA 1”

Local News 0
The Columbus Police Department has unveiled a special edition...
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About Us

Delaware Ohio News is an online news and content source dedicated to Delaware, Ohio. Founded in the year 1808, we strive to be Delaware's premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette. Although we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the lords of Delaware news media. That's why we're suicidal and on so many drugs.

With all of that said, everything on this website is made up. Do not rely on anything said here.

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