Big Bad John Wins 2011 Little Brown Jug Despite Massive Erection

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Hometown favorite Big Bad John won the Little Brown Jug Thursday evening despite maintaining a massive erection for the duration of the second heat.

Driven by David Miller, Big Bad John battled it out with Roll With Joe down the stretch, winning by a length at 1:50.

Roll With Joe’s driver, Ron Pierce, was shocked that Big Bad John was able to remain competitive with his two foot long penis fully erect between his legs.

“I was surprised to see him hit the track packing like that, and I looked at David like ‘what the fuck?’ when we were at the gate. I suppose they thought he’d be flaccid before too long but that wasn’t the case,” Pierce said. “I didn’t think he had a chance, and was certain he’d fall back down the stretch. I’m really surprised his massive dick didn’t slow him down.”

Big Bad John’s trainer, Ron Potter, of Delaware, said it’s common for horses to experience an influx of erections on race days, but that they normally subside well before any race takes place. When they don’t, a “juicer” is usually employed, a woman who is pulled from the backstretch and forced to masturbate the horse and clear the erection.

The juicer pulled from the crowd to service Big Bad John on Thursday turned out to be too drunk to finish the job, passing out in the dirt outside of the track and forcing Big Bad John’s camp to decide whether to race with the erection going full force.

“It was too late to find another juicer,” said Jane Smith, a friend of Potters. “I thought for sure the one we picked would be perfect since she was 18 and still in high school at Hayes; girls like that can normally finish a few hand jobs when they’re blacked out. But this one couldn’t. It put us in a tough spot.”

Owner Ron Major of Powell said he didn’t think twice about moving forward.

“Ron was uncertain, Miller wanted to roll, and I was sure it wouldn’t even bother him. I named John for his dick and he’s lived with it all his life. He can run with it.”

After trying unsuccessfully to tuck the solid shaft under part of the harness, the team finally decided to just enter the race as is.

“It’s the Little Brown Jug,” Major said, “you race whether your mom’s dying in Nebraska or your horse’s dick is as hard as a rock. The chance may never come again.”

Besides some light bleeding after grazing his penis on the ground coming around the third turn, Big Bad John experienced no negative side effects from racing with his penis in an erect state.

Though his horse’s remarkable cock ended up stealing the headlines, Ron Potter’s story remains another highlight of the 2011 Jug, with the trainer fulfilling his dream of winning the race and becoming the first trainer with a horse stabled at the Delaware County Fairgrounds to do so.

“It wasn’t just a big day for Big Bad John’s dick, or for the owner, or for David Miller,” said lifelong Delaware resident Trombone Harris, “it was a big day for Ron Potter and for Delaware, Ohio. He deserves this and has given the entire town a reason to celebrate.”

Delaware County Fairgrounds, Delaware, Ohio September 23, 2011

Ricardo Paye
Ricardo Paye
Ricardo Paye is a Senior Correspondent with Delaware Ohio News. Born and raised in the Delaware County Fairgrounds, he's a reporter with a deep knowledge of the streets who isn't afraid to ask tough questions. His fondest childhood memory is getting a hand job from a public utility worker in the basement of Pilsner's 5 & Dime store. He holds a bachelor's degree in Euthanasia from Ohio Wesleyan University.

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