Crime

Delaware Police Department Suspected Of Doing Police Work

After decades of treating bar fights like national security emergencies and sending multiple cruisers to routine traffic stops, new evidence shows that Delaware police...

Jack Hanna Resigns Zoo Post Amid Animal Sex Scandal

NOTICE: THIS IS A JOKE! This content isn't real. It is a satirical parody written in 2012 after the Jim Tressel scandal at Ohio...

Cat Plot Worries Community

A group of orphaned felines banded together this weekend in an attempt to overrun Hoggy's Restaurant and control the city's tuna supply. The plan...

Man Lets Dog Drive Drunk

Delaware resident Jacob Turhole was arrested for animal endangerment after his dog was pulled over in his truck. The dog was driving, while Turhole...

Happy Man Taken In For Questioning

Delaware Police officers arrested a man late last night on suspicion of reckless happiness. Craig Robertson, a 42 year old machinist from Akron, was seen...

Bunched Panties Cause Domestic Dispute

Delaware Police responded to a call of domestic violence at 145 Franklin Street yesterday, the home of Julie and Scott Ramsey. Mr. Ramsey, according to...

Popular

Ignore That Drunk Man With Machete

A hammered drunk man wielding a machete is wandering...

What is a Dead Rat’s Midget’s Anus?

Ah, a question as old as time. Let us...

Health Dept: Please Don’t Copulate on Mattress Behind Kroger

The Delaware Public Health District has asked residents not...

‘Can Opener’ Opens Actual Can

The notorious 'can opener' bridge lived up to its...

Cocaine Lemur: Missing Pet Goes On Drug-Fueled Rampage in Marysville

The saga of the missing red ruffed lemur from...