Curious how you can become the latest shooting victim outside of Monarch Lounge in the Short North? Here are 10 surefire ways to get your wig split. 

10. Look happy

Don’t be laughing and looking all satisfied with your life unless you are ready to suffer the consequences. Good lives are fun to snatch. 

9. Let your girl get drunk and start trippin’ 

Then she starts a yappin’ and you have to clean up the mess. Someone has to answer for her fat ass. 

8. Look a man in his eyeballs 

What the fuck are you looking at? Look at the floor man. Look at the floor. 

7. Wish a motherfucker would

Be careful what you wish for. At some point, a motherfucker might. 

6. Say “nah” 

Some people aren’t taking no for an answer. 

5. Ask someone if they’ve got a problem

They might, and it could be you. Next thing you know, that iron is upside your big ass head.  

4. Answer when someone asks if you’ve got a problem

Ever heard of a rhetorical question? Sometimes you should just keep walking. That is, unless you want some action. If that’s the case, tell them asking exactly what your problem is and stand around to see what happens next. 

3. Bump into somebody 

Watch where you’re going. Or don’t.   

2. Mumble in the wrong direction

Speak up and speak clearly. Leaving things to interpretation can get messy.  

1. Exist at 3 a.m.

Sometimes that is all it takes. Stay out late enough and you might just catch a bullet. 



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