Curious how you can become the latest shooting victim in the Short North Arts District? Here are 10 surefire ways to get your wig split.
10. Look happy
Don’t be laughing and looking all satisfied with your life unless you are ready to suffer the consequences. Good lives are fun to ruin.
9. Let your girl get drunk and act up
Then she starts running her mouth and you have to clean up the mess. Someone has to answer for her fat ass.
8. Look a man in his eyeballs
What the fuck are you looking at? Look at the floor, man. Look at the floor.
7. Wish a motherfucker would
Be careful what you wish for. At some point, a motherfucker might.
6. Say “nah”
Some people don’t take no for an answer.
5. Ask someone if they’ve got a problem
It could very well be you. Next thing you know, that iron is upside your big ass head.
4. Answer when someone asks if you’ve got a problem
Ever heard of a rhetorical question? Sometimes you should just keep walking. That is, unless you want to get shot. If that’s the case, tell them asking exactly what your problem is and stand around to see what happens next.
3. Bump into somebody
Watch where you’re going. Or don’t, and get touched back.
2. Mumble in the wrong direction
Speak up and speak clearly if you decide to open your mouth. Leaving things to interpretation can get messy.
1. Exist at 2 a.m.
Sometimes that is all it takes. Stay out late enough in Columbus and you might just catch a bullet.
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