Millions of people per year ask the same question: Where is Delaware, Ohio?

Today, we’re going to share the answer to that question. Today, we’re going to show everyone exactly where Delaware, Ohio is. We’re going to tell them where it is in relation to other places on earth, including Ohio, where most people think it is located. Today, we’re going to make a fact about Delaware, Ohio’s location and change the history of the 43015 area code forever.

First: Where Delaware, Ohio is not

Before we share where Delaware, Ohio is, we need to show you where Delaware, Ohio is not. Contrary to popular belief, Delaware, Ohio is not in Delaware, Ohio.

Here is the map of Delaware, Ohio’s location that you will find on most other websites. It’s shown as a county within Central Ohio (part of the United States, for all you foreign nigs). This is not where Delaware, Ohio is located.

Where Delaware, Ohio is

Now that the location previously attributed as Delaware, Ohio has shown not to be Delaware, Ohio, we can get on with showing you where Delaware, Ohio actually is.

Delaware, Ohio is located here, inside the rotting heart of Delaware’s first King and 19th President of the United States, Rutherford B. Hayes:

President Hayes’ heart has been preserved at the Ohio State University Medical Center for the last 15 years, and was kept by Delaware authorities prior to that as a way to keep the great Rutherford’s spirit alive. Without him, many say, Delaware, Ohio simply isn’t a real place. And that became a reality in 1999, when God determined that Delaware, Ohio would no longer exist as a town and instead would be forever part of Rutherford B. Hayes himself. Afterall, without Rutherford B. Hayes, there would be no Delaware, Ohio.

So there you have it, folks. Delaware is located within the heart of a former American president.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Are you aware that Delaware Hayes High School has a girl playing football? She’s a punter and is really good. Would be nice if your paper would check the game out on Friday night. Last week they won, she was tackled by 3 players from the other team. Her name is ( Aly Smiley.

  2. Yes Tom. We all know there’s a girl punter playing for Hayes. But we don’t want THIS PAPER doing anything on her. She is much better suited to the Gazette.

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