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Teaching My Grandpa How to Find Porn on His Phone

This is a text message conversation I had with my grandfather where he asks me how to find porn on the internet. ...
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5 Fun Things to Do on Drugs in Delaware, Ohio

Looking for something fun to do while you're high in Delaware, Ohio? This list is for you. 1. Sit at home and listen to your...
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10 Ways To Ruin Your Life At The Little Brown Jug

It’s September in Delaware, Ohio and you know what that means: Yes, the world-famous dead horse parade is right around the corner. But when...
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Main Street First Friday Wedding in Downtown Delaware, Ohio: Happy Heroin Couple Beat Each Other Up [Meme]

Meet the wonderful couple being married in downtown Delaware, Ohio tonight during the First Friday festivities. They will have a fist fight in front...
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It’s Fair Season: Here Are 7 Elegant Ways To Shit All Over Yourself In Public

Tired of shitting in a toilet like a fucking normal person? Good. You don't have to do it that way. You can shit all...
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13 Ohio License Plates That Should Be Banned

Check out these Ohio license plates. What do you think? Should they be allowed on our roads?  1. Overdose 2. Tie Her Up 3. Touch Boys 4. Smoke...
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Has Gary Coleman Gone Too Far?

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Funny spam we received: “Nein, my little freak is not homosexual, he is hipser [sic]…or something”

Taking the time to read spam email can be pretty entertaining. We received this one in our inbox today. Subject: You dressed into mothers underwear? Message: Hey,...
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We’re off to a good start

Making it in the news industry is tough these days, especially when you have to create the news and not just report it. Despite...
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A sign we’re doing a great job: our first hate group

Besides the 800+ fans we have on Facebook and the thousands of visitors that regularly check out the site, the new Parents Against Delaware...
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About Us

Delaware Ohio News is an online news and content source dedicated to Delaware, Ohio. Founded in the year 1808, we strive to be Delaware's premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette. Although we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the lords of Delaware news media. That's why we're suicidal and on so many drugs.

With all of that said, everything on this website is made up. Do not rely on anything said here.

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