69 Things to Do With Your Storm Banana Stash

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Winter Storm Elliott arrived in Delaware, Ohio, bringing snow and brutal cold to town. As is tradition, residents have stocked up on bananas in preparation. But now that the storm has hit and the store shelves are empty, many people are sitting at home with a plethora of bananas and no idea what to do with them.

Don’t worry – we’ve got you covered with a list of 69 things to do with your bananas. These ideas will keep you entertained and put your bananas to good use during the storm.

  1. Moisturize your skin with mashed bananas.
  2. Place a banana in your pants and try walking around the house without getting aroused.
  3. Hold a press conference with your bananas and pretend they’re historical heads of state.
  4. Use your bananas as makeshift drumsticks and start a one-banana band.
  5. Call your grandmother and tell her your bananas want to tell her a joke. Then put one up to the phone and sit there in silence.
  6. Turn your bananas into puppets and put on a show.
  7. Use your bananas to spell out messages on your walls and floors.
  8. Use your bananas as makeshift bowling pins and have a bowling tournament. Scream “FUCK!” really loud every time you fail to knock any over, which will be every time.
  9. Grab a hammer, bash them into mush, and then step in the mush like a good little freak. 
  10. Play your bananas like a piano and make sweet music only you can hear.
  11. Double-fist those bitches and scream, “I AM THE BANANA GOD!”
  12. Hold a banana like a baby and pretend you’re its mother. Bonus: do this all day and go insane. 
  13. Go straight Charles Manson and smash them into your forehead. 
  14. Surround yourself with bananas and talk to them like you’re their leader
  15. Create a banana orchestra – Gather a bunch of friends and see who can make the most unique and creative sounds with their bananas. 
  16. Make banana jewelry – String up some mini-bananas together and wear them around your neck. 
  17. Put on some music and dance with them like a dirty banana-loving slut.
  18. Strip naked and sit on them. Peeled, unpeeled, one or four at a time, whatever you like. 
  19. Fill your anus with them. Then report to the Grady ER and tell them what you’ve done. 
  20. Have a banana photo shoot – Strike some fun poses with your bananas and see who can get the most creative. 
  21. Make a banana puppet – Decorate your bananas and put on a show. 
  22. Accuse your banana of cheating – Then thoroughly inspect it to see if it has been peeled.
  23. Banana race – Line up your bananas and see which one can get across the finish line first.
  24. Have a banana tossing contest – Grab some friends and compete to see who can throw their banana the farthest.
  25. Build a banana sculpture– Craft some art with your bananas as the base material.
  26. Start a banana breeding operation – You’re an entrepreneur!
  27. Tell banana stories– Gather around the fire, tell some stories and have your bananas join in on the fun.
  28. Practice yoga poses with your bananas – Who said yoga has to be boring?
  29. Wrap them up as presents and give them to members of your family. Then tell them Christmas is canceled and commit suicide.
  30. Banana ballroom dancing –Grab your partner, some bananas, and hit the dance floor!
  31. Put on a banana fashion show– Design creative outfits with your bananas and see who can make the most chic look.
  32. Smoke crystal meth in front of your bananas, freak out, throw them out into the yard, and then peer out your blinds to see if they move.
  33. Construct banana furniture– Create a chair, table, or bench with your bananas as the base material.
  34. Play banana bingo– Write numbers on your bananas and call out letters to figure out who can make a line first.
  35. Banana darts – Hang up a target and see who can get the most points by throwing their bananas at the bullseye.
  36. Make banana art– Use your bananas to create unique pieces of artwork.
  37. Decorate with banana stickers– peel your banana, cut out shapes, then stick them wherever you want. The refrigerator is a good place to start. 
  38. Have a banana cooking contest – Compete with friends and family to see who can come up with the most creative and delicious recipes using bananas.
  39. Make a banana snowman, but don’t use any snow. Just stack bananas in your yard. 
  40. Banana poker – Gather around the table and play a classic game with some banana chips.
  41. Count your bananas and feel proud of yourself for buying so many. 
  42. Make banana ice cream – Grab some milk, sugar, and get to churning. 
  43. Play banana baseball – Grab some bats and swing for the fences. 
  44. Play banana charades – Use your bananas to act out famous movies or books. Bananas love Schindler’s List and To Kill a Mockingbird.
  45. Have a banana juggling competition– See who can juggle the most without dropping any.
  46. Re-enact the civil war.
  47. Banana-themed scavenger hunt– Hide some bananas around your house and see who can find them the fastest.
  48. Use one to uncork a bottle of wine. Then tell the others, “See, this is what you can be when you grow up.”
  49. Make a banana boat – Grab some sail cloth, sticks, and get to building.
  50. Make banana pancakes– Whip up some delicious pancakes for the whole family.
  51. Play “You’re a banana; I’m a person.” This classic game never gets old. First, you tell your banana that it’s a banana. Then, you tell your banana that you’re a person.
  52. Banana catapult– Construct a contraption and see how far you can launch your bananas!
  53. Banana parade – Dress up your bananas in all sorts of costumes and parade them around your living room. You’re normal!
  54. Banana Olympics – Compete in a variety of banana-themed games to find out who is the ultimate champion.
  55. Have a banana taste test – See if you can tell which type of banana is which just by tasting them.
  56. Make some banana bread – Bake up some tasty banana bread for the whole family.
  57. Go banana fishing in your bathtub – Grab a pole, cast your line and see what you can pull in!
  58. Feed your banana another banana – Cut open it’s tummy and then stuff another banana in there and see how it likes it. 
  59. Have a banana staring contest – Who will blink first? If it’s the banana, run! 
  60. Pretend your bananas are weapons and have an all-out war with your family. 
  61. Make banana white supremacists and have them light a toothpick cross on fire in front of your avocados. 
  62. Practice deepthroating and/or stroking them off. 
  63. Play a game of banana bowling – Set up pins, grab some balls and start rolling!
  64. Salute the motherfuckers! 
  65. Have a banana-themed movie night – Popcorn, candy, and watch your favorite movies with some banana-shaped snacks.
  66. Banana sculpting– Try to create something unique from your bananas. Maybe a park bench for homeless bananas to sleep on? The sky’s the limit. 
  67. Stick them under your mattress and say a prayer to Judy Garland.
  68. Have a banana-masked ball – Dress up in costumes using your bananas and dance the night away!
  69. Take a banana bath. If it feels oddly sexual, that’s because it is. 

And there you have it – just a few of the many things you can do with your bananas during Winter Storm Elliott. Who knew the humble banana could be so versatile? Stay safe and have fun, you psycho! 

Do you have other uses for your bananas? Let us know in the comments. 

Ricardo Paye
Ricardo Paye
Ricardo Paye is a Senior Correspondent with Delaware Ohio News. Born and raised in the Delaware County Fairgrounds, he's a reporter with a deep knowledge of the streets who isn't afraid to ask tough questions. His fondest childhood memory is getting a hand job from a public utility worker in the basement of Pilsner's 5 & Dime store. He holds a bachelor's degree in Euthanasia from Ohio Wesleyan University.


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