Sofa Malone

Delaware Ohio News Editor-in-Chief. Connect with Sofa via the Delaware Ohio News Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/delawareohionews.

NRA and Ohio Governor John Kasich Aim to Arm Students, Teachers

Ohio teachers and students would be required to carry a state issued handgun or assault rifle under a proposed law introduced by Ohio Governor...

Dead and Injured Horse Auction Draws Crowds, Protesters to Fairgrounds

Every November, people looking to unload or stock up on their supply of dead and injured horses gallop to the Delaware County Fairgrounds. For auction...

Obama Misses Friend’s Wedding, Apologizes with Massive Drone Strike on Reception

President Barack Obama missed his good friend Al Kada's wedding last weekend, and has apologized the only way the president knows how; with unbridled...

Delaware Man Taken into Police Custody After Forgetting 9/11

Delaware man Yancey Glurglebottom was taken into police custody early Tuesday morning after local police discovered he had completely forgotten about the events of...

Couples Turn to Simulated Rape in Lieu of Contraception

Hundreds of couples across central Ohio and thousands across the nation have embraced simulated rape in order to prevent pregnancy, according to a recent...

Delaware Man Arrested for Taking Rocket Launcher into ‘Hope Springs’

Delaware resident Timothy Frankerton was arrested at the Strand Theater by Delaware Police  Tuesday evening after attempting to carry an arsenal of weapons into...

Romney Selects Former OSU Quarterback Art Schlichter as Running Mate

After months of speculation, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has chosen former Ohio State University football star Art Schlichter as his vice presidential...

Street Named After Jerry Sandusky Will Remain Despite Conviction

After several weeks of deliberation, Delaware, Ohio City Council has decided not to rename Sandusky Street, which was named after convicted child rapist Jerry...

Delaware Ohio News Little League Team in First Place

Midway through the regular season, the Delaware Ohio News (DON) Little League team is 10-0 and in first place in the Delaware Parks and...

Kasich Proposes New Tax on Public Workers

After the crushing defeat of Senate Bill 5 on Nov. 8, Governor John Kasich is proposing a new bill to the Ohio legislature, which...

In-Brief: Christian Fanatics’ Fantasy World Comes to End Sunday

While Christian fanatics anxiously awaited the end of the real world Saturday, May 21, they were oblivious to the fact that their own fantasy...

VA Patients To Share Prosthetics After Kasich Denies Funds

All amputees being treated in Ohio Veterans Affairs (VA) hospitals will be forced to share prosthetics after Governor John Kasich (R) formally denied a...

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Volunteers Needed to Rake Leaves at Blue Limestone Park

To combat the unsightly side of autumn, the City...

Ignore That Drunk Man With Machete

A hammered drunk man wielding a machete is wandering...

What is a Dead Rat’s Midget’s Anus?

Ah, a question as old as time. Let us...

Health Dept: Please Don’t Copulate on Mattress Behind Kroger

The Delaware Public Health District has asked residents not...

‘Can Opener’ Opens Actual Can

The notorious 'can opener' bridge lived up to its...