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Perry Nymphman

Perry is a nymphomaniac and reformed pedophile residing in Delaware, Ohio's Lexington Glen neighborhood. He covers the freak beat for Delaware Ohio News, including politics, technology, media, faith & values, and addiction.
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Local News

Community Angry With Fake News Website For Not Telling The Truth

A fake news website is facing a backlash in Delaware, Ohio after fulfilling its mission to never publish anything remotely accurate. Members of the...
Faith & Values

Catholic Church Secretly Rewriting Bible Passages To Favor Sexual Abuse

Following an accidental document release by the Catholic Church, Delaware Ohio News has learned that church officials across several continents are actively working on...
Politics

Delaware County GOP Updates Andrew Brenner’s Software Ahead of State Senate Run

Delaware County GOP officials recalled State Rep. Andrew Brenner (R-Powell) to their downtown headquarters this weekend to run diagnostics and upgrade his firmware ahead of...
Sex

Lick it and Stick it with Perry Nymphman

There has been a lot of debate about what is tasteful in sex columns, especially in college newspapers. Many columns push the envelope in...

Popular

Ignore That Drunk Man With Machete

Crime 0
A hammered drunk man wielding a machete is wandering...

What is a Dead Rat’s Midget’s Anus?

Blog 0
Ah, a question as old as time. Let us...

Health Dept: Please Don’t Copulate on Mattress Behind Kroger

Local News 1
The Delaware Public Health District has asked residents not...

‘Can Opener’ Opens Actual Can

Local News 0
The notorious 'can opener' bridge lived up to its...

Cocaine Lemur: Missing Pet Goes On Drug-Fueled Rampage in Marysville

Drugs & Rec 0
The saga of the missing red ruffed lemur from...
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About Us

Delaware Ohio News is an online news and content source dedicated to Delaware, Ohio. Founded in the year 1808, we strive to be Delaware's premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette. Although we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the lords of Delaware news media. That's why we're suicidal and on so many drugs.

With all of that said, everything on this website is made up. Do not rely on anything said here.

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