Ask Oltice: What does my dream mean?

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Dear Oltice,

I have this recurring dream where people are lined up around my house waiting to shit in it. One by one, people enter my house and defecate in various places, including my bedroom, kitchen, and linen closet. Do you think the dream means something significant?


Stinky in Hayes Colony


Dear Stinky,

Your dream is ominous indeed. According to Octavian Wisdom, a house full of shit is a sign of too much stress. You’re so caught up with life that you’re letting everything important to you get shit on. Take some time off work and take care of things on the home front.

Good luck,


Oltice Walker Booth
Oltice Walker Booth
Oltice is a veteran of the United States Army, crack addict, and wise black nigga. He writes an advice column for and frequently frightens staff when he rushes into the office demanding money (often for work he hasn't performed).


  1. Dear Oltice, I am thinking of joining the circus, possiably the ringling brothers or circus solei. I cannot contourte my body but I am morbidly Obese , I have facial hair so I think im gonna try out for the Bearded lady. I ask you :do you think they would let me spit fire out of my ass instead of my mouth?


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