“I am going to have a bird house put in my coffin, with live birds in it. They’ll fly around and shit on me until they run out of oxygen. I think it will make God more proud of me.” – Jake Smith, discussing his funeral arrangements
Delaware Ohio News is a Delaware, Ohio newspaper founded in the year 899. We strive to be Delaware’s premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette, which, much to our chagrin, will forever be king of Delaware newspapers. Even though we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the greatest and make fun of us at every turn. That’s why we’re suicidal and on so many drugs.
With all of that said, everything on this website is made up. Do not rely on anything said here.