Roger Waters, legendary musician and founding member of progressive rock band Pink Floyd, died today after a two year battle with a rare form of AIDS most commonly found in dogs. He was 68 years old.
Waters, who was touring on his “The Wall Live” tour was believed to be in good health in recent months and his death came as a surprise to family and friends.
“His case of AIDS was very mild,” said family friend John Heroin. “He used to joke around and start barking before he would vomit or pass out, pretending to be a dog with AIDS.”
Dog AIDS is rarely found in human beings, says Dr. Jean Glimpski of The Ohio State University Medical Center HIV/AIDS Research Center.
“It’s called dog AIDS because dogs get it, not humans,” Dr. Glimpski explained. “Gay humans typically just gets AIDS, which is the most common variation of the syndrome.”
Glimpski said she was surprised a heterosexual male like Waters would have AIDS at all, especially the form typically reserved for canines.
“Gay people account for 99.9% of all AIDS cases,” Glimpski said. “And that’s including the animal variations. I’m not sure how he could have contracted it.”
Waters never explained the origination of his dog AIDS and rarely commented on the illness.
All scheduled 2012-2013 tour stops for “The Wall Live” have been cancelled and refunds are being administered to ticket holders.
About the Author
Delaware Ohio News is a Delaware, Ohio newspaper founded in the year 899. We strive to be Delaware’s premier news source, second only to the illustrious Delaware Gazette, which, much to our chagrin, will forever be king of Delaware newspapers. Even though we were the first Delaware, Ohio newspaper, they remain the greatest and make fun of us at every turn. That’s why we’re suicidal and on so many drugs.
Why is no one else reporting this?
I don’t believe this to be true!
It’s because it isn’t real, Steve. It’s supposed to be a satire but the problem is that this “writer” is also a moron, and apparently a homophobe.
I think you mean “you’re” a moron, moron.
I am sending this, as a screenshot and a link to Mr. Waters. I hope you enjoyed your time as a “journalist” personally I hope you never can work again… As anything.
Fuck you, sincerely.
Adam J. Butler
I am sure this story will become their number one priority. Good job, Adam. You’re doing great.
Prepare for a major judicial fist up your asses. I have already sent this article to Mr. Waters and his record label. You must be the dumbest fucking news agency of all time… You cannot feign real news, and fake news dumbfucks you are not fox news. You’re going to pay for this, and dearly.
We’re still waiting to hear from them…
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Keep up the good work, Ricardo. The lols are appreciated and I will continue reading.
Freaking golden. I can’t stop crying from laughing.
Anyone who gets their news from delaware Ohio news is just plain sad and ignorant. It is a sad thing to live in this town.
Nat Norton is a racist homophobe living off the land in the outskirts of Delaware, Ohio.
Lol
I swear i read this stuff and its as funny as the story of the principal fucking the vice principal.
You guys will pay dearly for this. He actually died from normal aids.
Oh My! I’m in tears, that is by far the funniest sh**, I’ve read online in a long time. Guys here at the station are ROTFL. We are adding you to favorites!
Keep up the good work!!! ***also @Tobias -that funny!