Delaware Ohio News
The Voice of Delaware, Ohio


Featured


kasich_640
Local News

NRA and Ohio Governor John Kasich Aim to Arm Students, Teachers

Posted  February 20, 2013  by  Sofa Malone

Ohio teachers and students would be required to carry a state issued handgun or assault rifle under a proposed law introduced by Ohio Governor John Kasich during his State of the State speech Tuesday night in Lima. Coming in the wake of a wave of gun violence and increasing calls for gun control, Kasich said [...]

Full Story »

Rusty Piece of Shit
Local News

Man Regrets Buying $200 Car

Posted  January 31, 2013  by  Ricardo Paye

The decision to buy a $200 car off Craig’s List was a regrettable one, says Drew Appleton, 19, of Delaware. 

Full Story »

Willis Intermediary Student Johnny Wacky - Future Delaware, Ohio School Shooter
In-Brief

Willis Intermediate Student Calls Off Monday’s School Shooting

Posted  January 26, 2013  by  Ricardo Paye

Creepy East side sixth grader Johnny Wacky has called off a school shooting he had planned for Monday January 28th.

Full Story »

dead_horse_again (1)
Local News

Dead and Injured Horse Auction Draws Crowds, Protesters to Fairgrounds

Posted  November 16, 2012  by  Sofa Malone

Every November, people looking to unload or stock up on their supply of dead and injured horses gallop to the Delaware County Fairgrounds. For auction organizer Timothy Blentelneck, the event is a wonderful tradition that officially marks the start of the winter and Thanksgiving season. “It’s a fabulous yearly ritual in which horse owners can [...]

Full Story »

confused-man-in-suit
Local News

Delaware Man Taken into Police Custody After Forgetting 9/11

Posted  September 11, 2012  by  Sofa Malone

Delaware man Yancey Glurglebottom was taken into police custody early Tuesday morning after local police discovered he had completely forgotten about the events of September 11, 2001. Delaware police officer Harley Richter said he was busy driving around town making sure all businesses and homes had the necessary number of American flags hanging in prominent [...]

Full Story »

 
 
 

 
Ohio Governor John Kasich

VA Patients To Share Prosthetics After Kasich Denies Funds

All amputees being treated in Ohio Veterans Affairs (VA) hospitals will be forced to share prosthetics after Governor John Kasich (R) formally denied a $5,000,000 grant from the federal government late last week. Under normal c...
by Sofa Malone

 
 
Jack Hanna

Jack Hanna Resigns Zoo Post Amid Animal Sex Scandal

Columbus Zoo & Aquarium Director Emeritus Jack Hanna resigned his position and formally severed other contractual ties to the organization on Monday, more than six months after allegations of romantic relationships between ...
by Ricardo Paye

 
 
 

Local Idiot Shoots Roommate In Head, Hangs Out To See What Happens Next

Delaware resident and absolute moron Joel Sellers, 24, shot his roommate in the head yesterday and didn’t have the common sense to get the fuck out of the house. “When I showed up on the scene, and Mr. Sellers was just sitt...
by Sofa Malone

 

 
Joel Sellers' life behind bars sucks pretty bad

Exclusive Interview: Joel Sellers Talks About Shooting, Life In Jail, Future

Joel Sellers, the Delaware man accused of murdering his roommate with a gunshot to the head, granted delawareohionews.com’s Sofa Malone an exclusive interview from his jail cell on Sunday, April 17. Sellers’ attorney, Phill...
by Sofa Malone

 
 
roger-waters

Roger Waters, Pink Floyd Co-Founder, Dies Of Dog AIDS At Age 68

Roger Waters, legendary musician and founding member of progressive rock band Pink Floyd, died today after a two year battle with a rare form of AIDS most commonly found in dogs. He was 68 years old. Waters, who was touring on ...
by Nat Norton